Lyrics Durante, The Patron of the Arts.lrc Jimmy Durante
[id: pshjxeou]
[ar: Jimmy Durante]
[al: The Well Dressed Man]
[ti: Durante, The Patron of the Arts]
[length: 03:12]
[00:05.94]An introduction worthy of a Durante, thank you
[00:09.56]Seeking my favorite diversion last night and feeling in the pink
[00:13.19]I stepped into my plush upholstered Hanson
[00:16.78]With my two footmen commanding the poop deck
[00:18.70]And my Arabian steeds going at a gentle trot
[00:21.79]We approaches the theater marquee and what happens?
[00:24.96]The red carpet is rolled out
[00:26.94]My two footmen descend from the poop deck
[00:29.49]They opened the door and I stepped out
[00:33.79]Looking up from the gutter, I said
[00:35.83]”Who told you to remove the running board?”
[00:38.90]Picking myself up and ignoring the stares of the hoi polloi
[00:42.36]I makes my entrance gallantly into the diamond horseshoe
[00:45.79]I looks around, Mrs. Van Schuyler is whispering to Mrs. Murray Hill
[00:50.27]Mrs. Murray Hill is whispering to Mrs. Suspanna
[00:53.29]And what are they saying? Is it a bird?
[00:56.14]Is it a plane? Is it Superman?
[00:58.90]No, they shouted, “It’s a bum”
[01:01.61]You see, a vicious rumor has been circulated
[01:04.29]Just because I work in the saloon
[01:06.41]They say I’m not fit to mingle in any other circle
[01:09.32]That’s ridiculous
[01:10.81]Nightclubs is just a Mr. Hyde part of me
[01:13.33]You have yet to meet the Dr. Jerkel
[01:17.25]I’m Durante, the patron of the arts
[01:21.00]An opera critic and a man of parts
[01:24.72]Last week, I went to the opera
[01:26.52]I loved it, all but one scene
[01:29.35]That’s where the 350-pound soprano sings to the baritone
[01:33.22]She sings, “Take me in your arms and hold me close”
[01:37.76]Why to hold her close to a bum? I’d have to be curved like a banana
[01:41.30]Those opera lovers all rave at Handel’s Largo
[01:45.79]I’ve heard better music written by Umbriago
[01:49.85]Now, what I say may sound absurd, but believe me, it’s true
[01:53.68]I’ve seen every opera, and I’ll name them for you
[01:57.39]Tales of the Vienna Rolls
[01:59.15]Madame Buttermilk
[02:00.24]And the sextet from Lychee Nuts
[02:03.04]I coach sopranos and tenors in their parts
[02:06.94]’Cause I’m Durante, the patron of the arts
[02:11.54]Now, just the other day they held a meeting at the Metropolitan
[02:15.88]They said, “Jimmy, we’re in a hole, you gotta help us out”
[02:19.34]Stepping up on a soapbox, left over from La Bahie
[02:22.91]I said, “Gentlemen, let’s analyze this
[02:26.17]Now take Romeo and Juliet
[02:28.32]Romeo has to leave Juliet
[02:30.32]But does he say shoo-shoo, baby?
[02:32.34]No, an opera, he says”
[02:34.66]”I have but a moment to spend with you
[02:37.07]A moment, my dear, to spend with you
[02:39.19]A moment to spend, a moment to spend
[02:40.98]A moment, a moment, a moment, a moment, a moment”
[02:43.42]He’s got one moment to spend
[02:44.82]And he’s taking three hours to tell her
[02:47.08]While the guy’s making a federal case out of it
[02:49.88]Facing the committee, I said, “There’s only one way to save the opera”
[02:54.20]Get yourself new lyrics that have style and renown
[02:57.80]Like Pistol Pack and Mama, lay that pistol down
[03:01.36]They all gave thanks from the bottom of their hearts
[03:05.33]To Durante, the patron of the arts
[03:08.47]Year of Release: 1934