Lyrics Otto Titsling.lrc Bette Midler
[id: pshlomtd]
[ar: Bette Midler]
[al: 1988 Beaches The Original Soundtrack Recording]
[ti: Otto Titsling]
[length: 03:11]
[00:11.95]Otto Titsling, inventor and Kraut,
[00:15.23]Had nothing to get very worked up about
[00:18.39]His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak
[00:21.74]He fled to the opera at least twice a week
[00:29.09]One night at the opera he saw an Aida
[00:32.23]Whose bust was so big it would often impede her
[00:36.34]Bug-eyed, he watched her fall into the pit,
[00:40.28]Done in by the weight of those terrible tits
[00:44.05]Oh my god! Thar she blows!
[00:46.73]Aerodynamically this girl was a mess.
[00:50.33]Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,
[00:53.68]And he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
[00:56.05]Flood his soul. He ran back to his workshop
[00:58.35]Where he futzed and futzed and futzed
[01:01.47]For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
[01:04.32]To lift and mold the female breast
[01:07.41]To point the small ones to the sky
[01:10.51]To keep the big ones high and dry
[01:15.14]Every night he’d sweat and snort
[01:18.36]Searching for the right support
[01:21.02]He tried some string and paper clips
[01:23.92]Hey! He even tried his own two lips!
[01:28.13]Well, he stitched and he slaved,
[01:31.01]He slaved and he stitched
[01:32.57]Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning,
[01:33.92]Otto arose from his workbench triumphant
[01:36.23]Yes! He had invented the world’s first
[01:38.73]Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.
[01:40.78]Hooray!
[01:43.05]Exhausted but ecstatic, Otto ran
[01:45.89]Out to the diva bearing the prototype in his hot little hand.
[01:47.94]Now, the diva did not wanna try the darn thing on.
[01:50.89]But, after many initial mishaps,
[01:53.17]She finally did.
[01:54.48]And the sigh of relief that issued forth
[01:56.38]From her mouth
[01:57.50]Was so loud that it was mistaken by some
[01:58.93]To be the early onset of the Seraken Winds
[02:00.87]Which would often roll through the Schwarzwald
[02:03.36]With a vengeance!
[02:04.96]Ahhhhh!
[02:06.91]But little did Otto know,
[02:09.94]At the moment of his greatest triumph,
[02:12.12]Lurking under the diva’s bed
[02:14.07]Was none other than the very worst
[02:16.01]Of the French patent thieves,
[02:17.26]Phillip DeBrassiere.
[02:19.68]And Phil was watching the scene
[02:21.83]With a great deal of interest!
[02:27.09]Later that night, while the Brunhilda slept,
[02:29.85]Into the wardrobe Phillip softly crept
[02:33.06]He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,
[02:36.01]Till he found Otto’s titsling and he ran out the door
[02:39.58]Crying, “Oh my god! What joy! What bliss!
[02:42.77]”I’m gonna make me a million from this!
[02:45.99]”Every woman in the world will wanna buy one.
[02:48.61]”I will have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan.”
[02:54.70]The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
[03:01.72]Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?
[03:08.99]Year of Release: 1988